White Van Man

Being a 'lad of leisure' I have time on my hands, so when my good friend Sylvain needed a hand moving out of his Belsize Park pad, despite the required manual labour I was happy to help. After all, single fella (well not living with his good lady) in a bijou & compact 1 bedroom place he can't have that much stuff can he?

The biggest single box, and I kid you not here is his shoe collection! Sylvain (sorry fella) is not renowned for his high fashion. He wears black, all ways black! Occasionally dressing it up (I believe this is technically known as accessorizing) with the odd item of light or dark black. So a huge sealed box marked 'shoes' either points to a hidden Imelda Marcos thing going on or (more likely) an impressive porn collection disguised as shoes. Either way that's one box I leave for him to carry.

The hire van is big & white and once loaded is heading to Paris, Sylvain you see is french. This of course does not explain the porn but may well explain the shoe fetish? So with van packed we have lunch at a pavement cafe in London's posh Belsize Park. Ladies wot lunch are in abundance & much to Sylvain's annoyance they arrive in their 4x4 urban tanks, this is prime Range Rover Sport terratory. They can often be seen roaming the school run route in packs of 20 preying on the unsuspecting 3 door Citroen hatchback.

Sylvain drives a 3 door Citroen hatchback and (this is what fuel's his annoyance) has been forced off the road, made to wait and generally been shown utter contempt by these gas guzzling behemoths. I point out that for the rest of the day he is driving a big white van which is firstly not his to worry about and secondly that not only is he now the dreaded 'white van man' but he is in fact a White Van French Man brought up driving on the Parisian streets. His eyes light up, revenge is the 'plat du jour' and he likes his cooking!!

He drops me off at the station (I thought it would be safer) and heads off in search of adventure...