Friday, June 8

Alien Invasion, they are coming to get us!

We are not cute and cuddlyBritish scientists (of the astronomical variety) this week presented to our government the facts surrounding the likelihood of extra terrestrials being aware of intelligent life on Planet Earth (I make the assumption here that they refer to us humans). The basis for this ET awareness is that after 80odd years of TV transmission those signals travelling at light speed would have now made it to the stars most likely to have life supporting planets! Potentially life supporting planets are out there, the nearest suspected being just 12 light years away with about 200 within 80light years!


Now this piqued my interest & raised more than the odd question, so a little net time was burnt on this. Given that my sister can not for love nor money nor a huge antenna, receive more than 4 TV stations the aliens must be fantastically advanced having aerials to make SETI green with envy (or they have been down to the local hardware store and bought a nuclear powered aerial booster). We should then extend this technological advancement to interstellar travel, believe they have the means to get here and assume they have been gathering TV broadcast intel with a view to deciding what to do about us!


Go get a coffee, this is going to be one of my longer blogs and your gonna need to concentrate...


Muffin the Mule: it's kids TV NOT and adults only hobby!The law of averages suggests that just a small percentage of these 200 planets support life and that it is about halfway between the known planets roughly 40 light years away. This would mean that during the 70's they were tuning into our broadcasts from the 30's and for the next 20 years they were studying a heady mix of 'muffin the mule', 'the flowerpot men' and more worryingly coverage of World War 2!



So let me ask you, if you were a technologically advanced space alien who had just worked out that one of your nearest planets was inhabited by a war mongering species hell bent on destroying its neighbours wouldn't you order a pre-emptive strike? Hell YES! who would want us as neighbours!


The alien armada will be about halfway here by now and they have had the pleasure of watching Vietnam, Iraq: Desert Storm, the sequel Iraq 2: Shock and Awe and maybe some Teletubbies. They will not have changed their minds!


There is just time for a propaganda offensive;



  1. Convert Little House on the Prairie, The Waltons and other such fluffy stuff and lets show these invading hordes how we can all live together in harmony.
  2. Convert the back episodes of Star Treck, Stargate and films like Independence day into pseudo news reports and beam them out there now! Let these little green men see 'Team Earth' kicking some alien butt!
  3. Your Planet Needs You! We can all do our bit - beam your blog into space (see below). KEEP on message though, we all live in harmony but we know how to kick alien butt!
  4. Spring clean that Cold War bunker, you may need it!
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4 comments:

RFM said...

If they're picking up our telly, shouldn't we be picking up theirs?

Anonymous said...

Your puny earthling ariels can not detect our encrypted signals. Oh, and whilst I am on, what is that Big Brother rubbish about? That house is top of our list for the pan galactic phaser missile strike!

See you in 10 years and cuttsy transmitting the defense plans for earth into space was not a wise move was it really? eh!

Zargel Greebob the Elder,
Attack Fleet Commander
Death Giver 14: Holocaust Class
Somewhere near Alpha Centauri

Ruthie said...

Blimey, where's Commander Peter Quincy Taggart when you need him???

Pedal to the metal!!!!

Anonymous said...

It'll make the current phone-in scandals seem pretty trivial when endemol provoke interstellar war in a few years time, because the aliens get charged for their phone votes after the competition has closed.